It came back. I’ve held on to it for a long time now. I know I get anxious. But to be honest I’m a coward, I let the anxiety and depression rule my mind. That’s why I’m scared to go to the doctors, I know I can admit it’s haunting my mind again but I don’t think I can go back to the doctors and have to explain why I stopped taking the pills. Why I think I need them again. Why I’m afraid.
What if this is me! Am I going to be stuck in an endless torment of anxiety one minute and depression the next. Why do I let then define me, and in the darkest times of night, just like tonight – I find myself listening to the saddest of music, hiding in bed, so I can justify my crying and just for a little while in the dark accept that I have a demon hiding in me. I know it’s just for now and in the morning I’ll feel a little better. But for now I will cry, because I’ve remembered that the demon is actually just me. And I have no idea how to get rid of it.
We are only human, and we all have our inner demons. Some are just better at hiding it and others choose to ignore it. If you need to cry, then cry. Don’t hold it in, but at the same time don’t let it rule your life. The fact that you admitted that it’s haunting your mind again is a step forward, you realized what’s going on and although are scared to take the next step you realize that you should do it. I know I’m just a random person on the internet and a complete no body to you but hey, we are all human and in a way we are all connected. Take care of yourself, ok? ^_^